Around this time every year, we start thinking about who we should elect to the grand position of homecoming queen. I have to say that in the past I've been a little troubled by the fact that this vote was all about the popularity, looks, and even personality. That's not at all what this election is about. When we elect a homecoming queen, we need to elect someone who has the right qualifications to fill the role perfectly.
In order to do this, we need to first examine what it is that the homecoming queen does, so that we can figure out what characteristics make the perfect candidate.
As I see it, most people would say the homecoming queen's main task is to stand out in the middle of the field and look good. This is definitely important, and I think we can say that any one of our choices here would fill this role admirably.
Another important task the homecoming queen has to fulfill doesn't come until next year, when she bestows her crown upon the head of her successor. If you'll take a second to look at the candidates in front of you, you'll notice that three of them are fairly short, while one is about five foot ten. This may not seem important to you, but bear with me. There's a girl, currently in her junior year, who's also about five ten or five eleven. I would imagine this girl has a fairly good chance of being in the running for queen next year. Imagine if one of our short candidates had to pass off the crown to this girl... Would they have to bring a step ladder or something? Imagine the humiliation...
The final point I'd like to make today is that the homecoming queen has to have a good walk. Now, a lot of people walk a lot of different ways. Some are short and choppy, while some are long and graceful. There's nothing like seeing someone walking out onto the field, legs churning up air despite the fact that they're barely moving. Our three short candidates over there would definitely have this walk. Beth, on the other hand, is tall, with long legs which lead to the graceful walk I described earlier. Beth may not have started walking until she was two, but now she has all the tools to do it well.
I really think the decision here is simple. You're not choosing between mere people; you're choosing between tall and short, graceful and awkward. When faced with these facts, I really don't see how you can do anything but elect Beth Dykema your homecoming queen.